I know it sounds weird, but I’ve wanted to be a lead in a musical my whole life. not like Broadway, like my High School. Literally.
The first show I ever saw as a High School production of Sleeping Beauty. I was 5. I saw the actors after the show and their fans, I ran home and re-enacted EVERYTHING. I wanted to do it. so bad.
now I have practiced, I have gained some experience. I’m ready. my last chance. I want to be the lead in my school’s musical. Call-backs tomorrow. *breathes* I want this. I need this.
2nd dream: I have been visiting my Dad’s Alma mater, Texas Christian University for as long as I can remember. it is honestly the only college I have envisioned myself at. I imagine myself sitting in a dorm- it’s at TCU. ever since I was little.
that audition is this weekend. and I want to get in so badly. but if I don’t get the lead in the musical, my confidence will be shot.
and I won’t get over it for a little while. the audition is literally 2 days after I find out.
I’m frustrated because I NEVER, N E V E R think about casting this way. I have a very very thick skin about this. and I look at a cast list, if I got what I wanted, great. If I don’t I go home. wake up the next day- and I’m over it.
what is happening to me?